He has no idea

So my first time was with a “stranger”, we were strangers when we met.

I met him on Hot or Not and thought it would be my typical “I’ll suck you off k bye” thing.

Instead we first 69nd. It was fun but I wanted more so I decided to try anal for the first time. I didn’t like it and made him stop. He knew I was a Virgin and asked to go further. I told him I didn’t know and really didn’t want to. He started to finger me and told me I obviously did and kept begging. I cave and I lost my virginity on a dirty floor with my clothes on to a stranger.

He’s now my boyfriend of 2 years and he actually doesn’t even remember our first time. I told him I don’t either but it’s stuck in my head. I can’t stop thinking about how I didn’t want it, I never wanted to loose my virginity to someone didn’t love.

He has no idea how I feel about this and thinks that it was amazing