Epidural/Spinal block question/concern.....

I’m unable to get anything done with my spine (epidural, spinal block, blood patch for spinal leak, etc) due to a history of spinal infection, three spine surgeries, and a spinal headache that lasted over three weeks, all of which occurred at the end of 2017. I’m also not able to have morphine or Demerol because of a complete tolerance I developed during the two months I was in the hospital recovering and the doctors had me on it through an IV 24/7.

I’m hoping and praying for a VBAC with this baby. Unfortunately I was told this morning that if a cesarean is necessary that I will have to be put under general anesthesia (which I was dreading hearing but assumed would be the case) and will miss the birth completely. It’s also more dangerous for the baby and the procedure has to be done very quickly to minimize risks. Also, this means I will need to be given dilaudid for pain in the event of a cesarean or vaginal birth complications, which will mean I won’t be able to breastfeed until blood tests show it has left my system. All in all I’m pretty terrified of this news. We are hoping the baby comes naturally on its own, but where I live if you haven’t gone into labor by your due date and have had a previous cesarean it’s required you have another. I’ve gotten a 4 day extension on this rule because I begged for one, but I’m so worried that I might end up in surgery.

I’m looking for any advice anyone has or any experience anyone has with this. My twins were born during a pretty traumatic cesarean and I wasn’t able to nurse them for almost two weeks. I’m really wanting this birth to be natural and warm and different and now I’m so worried that I won’t even be conscious for it. 😔