Basically since puberty I've identified myself as bisexual, I'm comfortable with that and have come out to my family and friends. But before now I've never had any sexual experiences, I've always been hesitant with guys before and have never had a real opportunity to be with a woman.

I started dating a guy, he's had sex before, and we hooked up. I gave him a blowjob and he went down on me but neither of us came. We chalked it up to nerves and decided to try again another time. So yesterday we tried again, he went down on me and I came but only because I took over rubbing my clit while he fingered me. Then it was turn take care of him and I was just dreading having to go down on him but I did anyway (he didn't pressure me at all but I felt like it would be rude not to reciprocate which is stupid I know). Anyway I tried blowing him and then giving him a handjob and then doing both together and he still didn't come. But I'm actually kind of relieved he didn't and I don't know why.

Thinking back over everything that happened I realized that I don't want to have sex or even kiss him ever again. Imagining it actually makes me a little sick to my stomach. I think the only excitement I got from the experience was because this was my first time doing anything sexual and not from any attraction to him. Looking back the whole experience felt mechanical rather than passionate. So now I'm wondering if maybe I'm not bi? I'm definetly not into this guy. Any thoughts?