Boyfriend and LSD *update at the bottom*

Please no judgment. I know this isn't weed related but you guys seemed the best people to talk to this about.

So my boyfriend is really into psychedelics and I've done them with him before in the past, but I feel like my trip is always heavily influenced by his, and we always spend most of the time just having sex (which is amazing, but I want to do it without it being all about the sex). I want to be able to experience it on my own for once and I asked him to trip sit me but he is completely refusing to do so and says hell only be there if he is doing it with me.

I want to a trip that isnt dominated by sex and what he is experiencing, but he cant understand why I would want that at all and it is so frustrating. I dont really have anyone else I could ask to trip sit for me and hes the only one I would even know to get acid from anyway.

I want to be able to go out into nature and see what it would be like, but i dont want to do it alone and I wouldn't feel safe if there wasnt a sober person around. Sorry about the long rant I'm just super frustrated right now and I font understand why he qont do this for me.

**Update**

So he told me that if I have a bad trip it's my fault and there nothing he could do even if he is sober. Then he asked me to apologize for hurting his feelings!! I refused and now he has stopped talking to me. Literally all I said was I would feel safer having someone not tripping around and hes acting like I killed his puppy. I'm so done with him at this point.