my sister just miscarried.. while i'm 18 weeks pregnant. how do i support her?

Question

Looking for advice on anything i can do to support my younger sister who just miscarried around 7 weeks... they do have a wonderful 21 month old, but they were incredibly excited about their second and had literally just told me the good news the night before. we were excited to be pregnant together - she's been so supportive and helpful throughout mine so far. they're devasted. this was what i've been worried about our whole pregnancy - but by pure luck we have made it to 18 weeks so far with our first. any advice on things i can do to help her (and her husband who i love) through this? we live about 6 hours apart, so unfortunately i can't just pop over. 
thank you!

Answer

I miscarried twice last year (6 weeks and 9 weeks) and my advice would be to just listen to her whenever she needs. Check in often. Don’t assume because she has a healthy child that this doesn’t hurt, because it hurts like hell. So many people said to me “at least you have Gavin.” And yes, that is true and I am very grateful for my son, but it is still a loss of another child that was loved and wanted. No “everything happens for a reason” comments because that isn’t what everyone believes and that also was hurtful to hear. No one should go through it! Just love her and listen to her. It is hard to get over and grief is a bitch. That’s my advice! Very sorry for her loss!

Answer

I miscarried when my twin was pregnant. I told her not to stop talking about her pregnancy just because what happened to me. I’d say, just be there for her. Let her talk through how she is feeling. It’s a hormonal roller coaster after and I just needed people to listen.

Answer

Just be there for her and bring her something special like flowers or a meal. Maybe scale down your own baby talk while it’s fresh. Remind her this is not her fault and refrain from using phases like everything happens for a reason or anything like that that feels helpful when you’re saying it but isn’t too the person grieving. She will be happy for you still and she will grieve and move forward give her time 😊 I hope this helps. I’ve experienced a miscarriage and other losses and just a hug or someone sitting with me was the most memorable and supportive help

Answer

Use skip the dishes to have dinner delivered to her! I love doing this for someone who is far away. You can just plug her address in (: send her some comfort food with no dishes to clean up!

my sister just miscarried.. while i'm 18 weeks pregnant. how do i support her?

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