Losing weight

Hey guys, im 25 with 3 small kiddos. My oldest daughter is 7, my youngest daughter is 5 and my son is almost 2yrs old. My family has a history of being overweight. My grandma who is almost 70 is still batlling to lose the desired amount of weight she wants, after battling being very large for quite some time.

Im not sure whats happened to me. Ive always worked and kept busy with work and kiddos. But after having my son , my now fiance had me quit work and stay at home with the babies as he works otr as a truck driver. Ive gained over 50lbs since quitting my job last august. Im now 250lbs and im 5'5. Im obese. Im unhappy, i have no motivation most days and the days that i do, it quickly fades. Im constantly fatigued and some days REQUIRE ( YES REQUIRE OR I SERIOUSLY WOULD FALL ASLEEP FOUNG WHATEVER) a nap if not 2 seperate naps throughout the day. I have no friends or close family. Just my grandparents. I dont have money for a gym or sitters. I need help. Yesterday at Easter, my broke family got together for Easter dinner. Today i called my grandma and she brought up how bad i need to lose weight. She is worried ill become diabetic if its not already happening. As harsch and hurtful as it is, it also gave me that extra push hearing it. Im so tired of discussing my weight with my fiance or thru messenger with an old friend, just to be brushed off and be told, " ah youre fine as you are". I know its not anyones fault but my own but my grandma being blunt with me really hit me hard in a good way. So im asking advice from you ladies. I need help. I need accountability. I need ideas. Its not so black and white to me as oh eat good and get some excercise. I end up overthinking and drowning my brain with thoughts of things i could do or should do and i give up.

I have a fitbit, i have a treadmill, i have 2 sets of small hand weights, and i have a kettlebell. Im so outta shape im nervous to even try to work out and end up sore to the point i dont want to do anything else. I also am stubborn and feel like a failure trying to do beginner levels on things because in my mind , i used to be able to do whatever at a pretty high level so why start at beginner. Im a mess. I mnow. But im begging for insight. Im begging for a friend or someone whos battling weight that can be there for me as much as i can for them. Thank you.