Ever since I could remember my mom would always tell me that I was too sensitive. In 4th grade I moved to a new school and only a few days in there was a girl saying I was a dork and trying to convince everyone of that. I just gave the girl a look at the time and didn’t stand up for myself. After school I told my mom and she said I was too sensitive. When I cried she got loud with me and again explained how I was too sensitive.

As I grew older I stopped telling my mom things. She knew I was still being bullied but never addressed it with me. In middle school I had casually mentioned months after the fact that a substitute teacher made fun of a physical difference I had and my mom got angry I didn’t tell her sooner because at that point I didn’t remember the subs name and she couldn’t go up to the school without a name. I think I didn’t tell her right away because I felt like she would never be on my side, or I was being too sensitive if I cared about anyone making fun of me.

Now as an adult me and my mom talked about all this. She said being bullied as a child by other children (not adults) is what makes you strong. It’s life. She said she didn’t want me being sensitive. She asked what should she have said to me when I came to her about being bullied by other children? She said she couldn’t go up to the school and complain about what a child said to me over something so small. She said it was a good experience for me to be bullied. And that she was bullied so bad in school she got thrown across a cafeteria table and only thinks it made her a stronger person. I was also pushed into lockers and touched inappropriately but never told my mom and didn’t stand up for myself either.

I told her it’s not ok to compare “severity” of being bullied, it should all matter and you should never tell a child they’re being sensitive. I told her no child is wanting their mom to go up to the school. That’s not what I ever wanted. They tell their parents because they want comfort and advice how to handle it when it happens. I wish I could have gotten advice how to properly stand up for myself. Most importantly it’s a way of letting your child feel that they can come to you about anything. So if something major ever happens, god forbid someone touching them inappropriately or other bad things, they will come and tell you about it.

My mom saw where I was coming from but stood to her belief that bullying is what makes you strong and that kids shouldn’t be treated so fragilely, she thinks this is what has created “snowflakes” as adults these days.

What do you think?