So I’ll try to not make this short. Jk it’s long...

My best friend since childhood is getting married in June. I’ve never been a huge fan of the guy, (lets call him A) but I figured it was just because our personalities clashed and I just want her to be happy ultimately.

She gets engaged and she doesn’t ask me to be in her wedding even though she was my MOH. She gives me some weird excuse of how she was thinking I wouldn’t want the pressure of being a bridesmaid and have a “new baby” but my baby will be 6 months by the time of her wedding, and he wasn’t even born yet. But okay, I don’t want to be a petty girl over it. Again, I just want her to be happy and it’s her wedding. This part is important later

Wedding planning gets underway and this guy is starting to show his more controlling nature. I’ve known what my friend has wanted for her wedding for ever as we’ve been friends since we were toddlers. She’s always wanted a small wedding, in the mountains, and no wedding dress. She wanted like a colored evening gown. Slowly this all changes. It’s a big wedding because “A wants his big family there” then all the sudden she’s dress shopping (which I wasn’t invited to. Again, important.) because “A really wants me to wear a wedding gown.” “A wants 13 groomsmen”...He also demands his name goes first on the invite. (Which is kinda funny because traditionally the brides name goes first. He’s saying he’s the bride. 😝) A’s family are also totally cruel to my friend and the wedding planning process has been so rough she actually got on some anxiety meds.

So I started to check in and make sure she was happy. She wasn’t. She just wanted the wedding to be over with. I found a company that does elopements in the mountains. I offered to pay. She already had the dress. I told her she could get married and have her huge party later and it wouldn’t be so much pressure. She loves it! But A won’t budge. He wants the June wedding and nothing beforehand. My best friend was crushed!

Now this is where the trigger warning comes in...

She texts me one day very upset asking for me not to judge her...long story short, she woke up to him having sex with her! She told him to stop and then he spun it that she was “asking in her sleep for sex” and somehow SHE took her pants off in her sleep and “doesn’t remember.” She feels horrible because A pins it all in her and she believes him. I start to pry and try to gently and firmly ask if she really wants to marry this guy. I tell her I’ll only ask once and drop it afterwards and there would be no judgment from me of any kind, just support. She said she still wants to marry him. I don’t hear back for awhile. She texts me later saying “A knew you would ask me this. That’s why he didn’t want you to be a bridesmaid or go dress shopping. He says you want us apart.”

Like DAMN RIGHT I DO! But I didn’t say that. I told her her happiness is the most important thing to me and if he makes her happy then I’ll drop it. She said she loves him.

So her shower is Sunday and I’m torn if I should go. I want to support her in this marriage but it makes my stomach turn. I’m also nervous because despite the fact that I don’t think they should get married, I’ll blow up on A’s mom if she starts being nasty like she has been. I don’t want the conflict because I’m really anti-confrontational, but I feel a duty to stand up for my friend. I feel lucky I wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid. I love my friend dearly, and want to support, but I have a bad feeling about going. Does anyone have experience with their friend marrying a silo filled with douche?