What should I do? (Sorry it’s long!)

Question

Hi everyone! I know this probably belongs in the work/career group but we all have babies the same age and we come from such different life situations so I want your advise. 
I am an attorney and I had the amazing luck to get a job doing research for 4 judges at a circuit court. I have loved the experience and it gave me a lot of stability and peace of mind in my first few months of motherhood. But, I always thought I would return to trial work and develop those skills more. 
My job now involves zero trial time. I don’t have any clients I just help the judges on their cases. I was told that there is a spot for me at the public defenders office. If I took the job I would be able to be in trial pretty much every week and in court everyday. The new job would be a faster pace and i would actually be “lawyering” if that makes sense.
But! I have this little five and a half month old that I love so much and I already spend 60 hours away from him a week. The new job has more flexibility in the sense that I can leave after court is done and go home, but less flexibility in the sense that if I’m in trial I CANT leave to go be with my baby if daycare falls through or he feels sick.
I’m so torn. 
I want to be the best mom for my boy and I want to be the most bad ass attorney.
Make the decision for me?

Answer

First of all, you are a badass no matter which avenue you choose! Is the trial option a limited time opportunity? Perhaps you could go with the more flexible position until baby is a bit older and more independent, then begin trials? Just a thought.😊

Answer

Do you have other support for when daycare falls through? I always had to pick up baby if there was a fever, and worked from home sometimes when the girls are sick..but I have a big support network and so there have been times when I couldn’t miss a meeting my husband would take off or my sister worked from home to help me until I could get home..and even then it was so stressful!
Babies get sick a lot so expect to pull out of daycare more than you anticipate..if you have others who can help then great! But if you will be stuck in trial and baby needs to be picked up, that’s a hard situation. 
I personally have had to scale back working on projects that require travel, and it’s hard when you have the drive to succeed in the workplace, but I constantly have to remind myself that my babies need me more now so I do sacrifice my career a bit..unfortunately we really can’t have it all can we? I also know this is temporary and I’ll be a badass working woman again in a few years..but I can never get back the early years with my babies..so being home in time for dinner, baths, story time is most important to me right now. With that said, if you can handle it, go for it..you know your situation the best. Mommy has to be happy for everyone else to be happy!

Answer

Can you scale back your hours as a public defender from the 60 hours? I work 40-50 hrs a week and it is a struggle to manage it all with that, especially since I have to cook allllll theeee tiiiimeeee (takeout isn’t an option). Plus, at 40-50 hours, I feel like I already spend enough time away from my kids (2.5 yrs and 5 months). I cannot imagine working more than that so kudos to you for handling 60. 
Better hours and better professional development would make it a no brainer to me. Those days you are at trial could be the days that dada is on call or you could consider hiring a nanny instead, which would solve the sick at daycare issue. Dooooo iiiiittttttt!

What should I do? (Sorry it’s long!)

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