If your SO has the energy to workout with his friends 3 days a week, he has the energy to help with our two year old when he gets home!! Right or wrong?

Question

My boyfriend doesn’t help much with our one year old. As soon as he gets home from work he hops right on his video games and stays there until dinner is ready. I have to ask him to change a diaper for me or he won’t. He has NEVER given our son a bath ever and he’s 19 months old. I cook him breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Put him down for his nap and for bedtime. Get up with him 2-3 times a night for a diaper change and small bottle. All I ask is for an hour to rest and get myself together. I’m 31 weeks pregnant and my back has been throbbing lately.. 
My boyfriend works out with his friends 3 days a week after work but on the days he’s not working out he just comes home and does whatever. I think if he has the energy to go workout he has the energy to play with our son for a bit. Or even just give him a freakin bath.

Answer

It’s not about if he has the energy to do that he must have the energy to do this… That’s not how it works. How it works is he needs to balance his life a little better and make sure everyone is taken care of, not just himself. That’s what a good parent and partner does. And I think expecting him to give you one hour alone is not enough. If I were you, I would expect him to be a parent 100% of the time when he’s home. Just like you are. He needs to step up! That means being aware of and catering to his child’s needs. Not just when you are not available, but like all the time. Being a father is not about helping or babysitting… It’s about being an actual fucking parent. Just like a mother is a mother, a father has to be a father. Not a babysitter or helper.

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So he’s not being a parent...the loser needs to step up

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I literally gasped when I read the part that you're in your third trimester and you're still getting up 3 times a night while he sleeps.  That is unacceptable. He should be doing more now than ever to help you. He sounds lazy and irresponsible.

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I 100% think he should help with the baby but I don’t think it’s fair to make the comparison with his workouts

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Your child is 19 months old and still getting up 2-3 times a night?!?!  No wonder you need help. I know your post is about your bf but if you’re up for 2-3 times a night with the baby for the past 19 months, it has to be wearing on you. It’s time that you stop feeding him at night (he won’t starve overnight) and get train him to sleep all night. What are you gonna do when you have a second baby?  
As far as your bf. He needs to step up. It kinda sounds like you’ve let him get away with doing nothing for 19 months and it’s really catching up to you. For sure he needs to get up with your son at night at least once.

Answer

It doesn't matter if he works out or not. When he comes home from work he needs to help out. Being a stay at home mom is work and you need a break as well. But at the same time he shouldn't take over everything and you do nothing,bc he is tired too. Talk,find a plan that works for you both. What my husband and I find is that when my husband comes home he helps me as soon as he gets home bc hes not ready for sleep yet. After about an hour I take over with the kids again and he watches about an hour of TV in the bed to relax and then falls asleep. It's only an hour bc he gets up at 3 am and gets home about 5 or 6. But on the weekend he does a lot of daddy stuff, I barely change a diaper or make a bottle or draw a bath on the weekend. I help,but he does the most. If you both just think of each other,it will work. If not,it wont.

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Stop doing things for him. Worry about yourself and your baby.  If he threatens you with leaving then let him go. Dont invest your energy and time into someone who wont do the same for you!

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You're enabling him though. Stop making him dinner and doing shit for him. Don't get up in the night.. roll over and tell him to do it. If he's not being made to pitch in the why would ever change? You need a weekend away while he takes care of the little one. Then maybe he will realize what you do for the family.

Answer

I accidentally hit wrong. He definitely needs to step up, he’s a parent too!

If your SO has the energy to workout with his friends 3 days a week, he has the energy to help with our two year old when he gets home!! Right or wrong?

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