I’m a mess and need some insight.

Ok. So I’ve been with my husband for 10 years. Faithful. Can’t even explain how faithful. We’re inseparable. I have been fighting a yeast infection for weeks. 3 rounds of OTC’s aren’t touching it and now I’ve got blisters. I go see my family dr whom I’ve had since becoming sexually active at 18 with my high school sweetheart. I had STD tests done BEFORE and AFTER sleeping with him and my now husband. They were also both tested. My boyfriend went with me so I know. I was told I had nothing. Today my doctor advised me that he thinks I may have Herpes. And do I want an antiviral “in case”. I said. “No. I want a test”. He said the test will likely come up positive if I’ve ever been exposed to it. Ever. My best friend has oral herpes and when I was young and dumb we used to share a toothbrush at sleepovers and shit (fuck I shudder now). I’ve kissed her on the lips (non sexually) once a month at least for nearly 20yrs. I’ve been exposed. My previous partner only had one previous partner. My husband slept around before I came into the picture. Now. Here’s the hurt and confusion keeping me up all night tonight. My Dr said I was never tested for herpes 10yrs ago when I started sleeping with my husband because they “don’t test for that”. Umm excuse me!?! I came to you to ask you to make sure I wasn’t spreading shit around or receiving anything either and you didn’t bother to test me for something every website claims EIGHTY PERCENT of us have???!!!!! Oh. And if I have an outbreak near labour I will have to have a CAESAREAN???!!! Like this has to be a sick joke. A living Nightmare. This cannot be real. I cannot be 34 having my FOURTH baby and my FIRST outbreak of Herpes. I cannot have had it for 10 years with no symptoms, right????!!!! Like I don’t even know what to say. I cannot even look at my husband but also know he didn’t cheat???? I don’t understand ANY. OF. THIS. FUCKING. SHIT. I’ve literally been crying all day. I told my husband I would kill myself before having another c-section. I’m ruined. I’m done. I feel so violated and disgusting. I’ll never be able to sleep with him again because I blame him and his man-whore ways prior to our relationship. And I’ll never be able to sleep with anyone else again because I’d rather die than ever tell anyone I have this disgusting disease. You want to know why 80% of us have it??!! Because the easy solution for the doctors is to put us on lifelong meds to “control” it rather than DOING THEIR FUCKING JOB AND TESTING. Now I will NEVER know who infected me. I have a blood test req that is pointless because of my contact with the HSN1 virus with my bestie. I’ve NEVER had a cold sore. I’ve had 3 yeast infections my ENTIRE life until now. This is embarrassing and devastating. Can anybody weigh in?? Like what’s the point of even having the test now if it won’t answer how I got It, who from and IF I ACTUALLY EVEN HAVE IT!!!??? If you are confused by this rant just know I am more confused than you. My dr gave me a lot of info that basically just said “everyone has it so we don’t bother to test because it’s no big deal. Oh unless you’re pregnant. Then you may have to have a c-section.” 😳😳😳🤬🤬🤬💔💔💔

To all the people saying I can’t test false positive - the blood test only checks for antibodies and it checks for both HSV1 and HSV2 together. So if your body has been exposed but not actually caught it, it will have created antibodies which will create a false positive. The only way to get tested definitively is to have a swab of an open sore find within 3days of outbreak before it crusts over. And although I don’t have crusty bumps, I was swabbed yesterday and told it’s too late. It’s been nearly 3 weeks of treating the “yeast infection” so if it’s herpes it’s started to go away on it’s own.