So I have 2 boys, 15 yrs and 2.5 yrs. Currently pregnant with baby number 4 who is due in August- boy #3. Baby number 3 was my only girl. However she died shortly after she was born due to a heart defect last September. It has taken some adjusting to welcoming another boy after losing my only daughter. (For those who want to make this negative- no I do not love my son any less and still want him) My husband and I have decided to do

<a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>

with testing to get a girl. So here is where I am looking for advice. I am old - for conceiving purposes. I will be 38 this year(2019). So we were looking to start the process in the middle of next year and hopefully achieve pregnancy by the time I turn 39 in December (2020)and have the baby before turning 40 (2021) (short span of time). BUT... I am feeling tremendous guilt over not breast feeding the baby to a full year because we would have to start early summer when he would be around 8-9 months old. I feel like I am out of time and need to do this sooner than later...but I feel like a terrible mother for not giving him a full year of breast feeding. I KNOW formula isn’t wrong. But I also know that I can breast feed him but can’t afford to keep waiting... words of wisdom? Advice? If you made it this far, thank you. And if you have anything good to share... bless your heart. The loss of my daughter has made life utterly horrible.

Edit: thank you all for your support. I really appreciate it. The reason I wouldn’t be able to breast feed would be because I would have to stop to do <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> treatments. And my first child was breast fed for 6 months and he was a little sickly... my second child for 14 months and he caught random germs too so as for that I know breastfeeding helps and thats why I worry not feeing him a full year.... but looking at benefits out weigh the risks... I guess I am trying to figure that part out. No one died from being formula fed so I know that my choice is not a complicated one(breast vs formula that is). But it is everything else that encompasses our journey. I don’t compare my journey to others because we are all on a different path looking for the same outcome, some of us just have different obstacles to overcome. Best of luck to all of you mommas ❤️❤️❤️