Honestly, I never thought I’d become this woman but I want to be the best I can be in the position I’m in.

I fell in love with a man who has an 8 month old son. They are both the lights of my life and I cherish every second I spend with both of them. My boyfriend and the mother of his child are in a weird place. He broke up with her a month before we met and there’s still bitterness between the two of them. Though they do talk pretty regularly and for the most part seemingly have an okay relationship, she has expressed callous feelings towards him being in a relationship with someone else. She’s even tried several times to get him back while knowing that I am with him now. She has expressed to him that she wants to meet me and I’m for it because I spend time with her child and it’s only fair that she knows who is around her child my boyfriend thinks that right now it would only breed more hatred and lead to her keeping him from their son. After the little I’ve seen and heard first hand, this is not something that would be too far fetched for her to do. But my boyfriend’s hesitation makes me question his motives and though I’m never intrusive about his relationships because I love and trust him, it leaves me feeling suspicious. We’ve talked about his feelings towards her and he has never let one disrespectful thing come out of his mouth about her. (not that I would allow it) He is also adamant that he just wants to raise his son and see her succeed in life but all romantic feeling for her is gone. With or without me, he would not go back.

At the end of the day, I was raised in a single parent home. I know what watching your parents fight can do to you and I don’t want that for that beautiful little boy. I also want peace for my boyfriend and a happy life for the mother of his child. I want to make sure that I play my role and lead with love. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man so I’m aware that means that she will be in my life for the rest of my life as well. I just want to know how I go about making sure I am respected as the main woman in my boyfriend’s life while also respecting the mother of his child and ensuring that she feels understood, heard, and respected.