finding out the gender of my baby

so i have two boys and after my boys i went thru two miscarriages and finally got my rainbow baby. i really wanted a girl all my symptoms were diff tha n my boys so i felt it was a girl. i got my hopes up excited for a girl well found out its a boy. i love this baby im lucky to get this baby but part of me is sad its a boy and then the other part is so ashamed of myself about this i never want this baby to feel unwanted. its causing me to feel so crappy im feeling depressed i dont know what to do i just feel like a horrible mom. anyone feel this way. and let me state i love this baby so much and these hormones dont help at all im just lil sad has this happened to anyone