Hi everyone ~

when I was 16 (I'm 18 now) I was with a guy and we had been dating for over a year. We were sexually active and not always smart about using protection. One day we were doing the deed and the condom stayed inside me so first thing that came to mind was taking plan B, we did that and then had unprotected sex a week later (he pulled out) and then a couple weeks after that I took a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant. The first thing I did was cry because I was scared, I mean who wouldn't be if you found out you were expecting at 16? He helped me tell my family and he told me he was going to be there for me and all that good whatnot, well I took another test and it was negative, a couple days after that he broke up with me. The next day I started bleeding (the bleeding lasted 3 weeks) and I had the worst pain I've ever felt in my life shooting all down my left side. I went to the gynecologist after bleeding for 3 weeks and low and behold found out I was most definitely pregnant. I told the guy and he honestly didn't do much. They told me after an internal ultrasound that the baby was in my left fallopian tube and that I would either have to take Methotrexate or have surgery. After 3 appointments of checking my blood for HCG levels I was taken into surgery after checking my blood one last time. They removed my baby (7-8 weeks along) and my left tube and now I have 3 tiny scars scattered across my stomach. The scary thing is they said if I had waited even one more day my tube would have ruptured and I would've died. It's been over a year since my surgery and I miss my baby every day. I've had 5 dreams of holding her, feeding her, and raising her. I wonder to myself if I count as a mom because I lost my baby and I have doubts.. I recently got my first tattoo of a feather with pink and blue (since I didn't know the baby's gender other than my dreams) so that is why I have both colors. I love you baby, I hope you know that