Am I right to feel assaulted after my husband stealthed me?
So, my husband and I were getting busy and I told him to put on a condom because I have a procedure coming up and I didn't want to risk pregnancy. I stated that I wanted a condom multiple times. I watched him roll it on and we started out in missionary because he likes to see my face as I orgasm. He originally rolled the lubed side on his side which already bothered me but, whatever, mistakes happen. Then he asks me to flip over into doggy. I flip and we go for a few seconds before he stops and he says he has a muscle cramp. Then he goes back in and I notice that he feels really good. I figured that I was just more wet because I was masturbating through his cramp and just continued. Then I felt a shot of cum enter me before he quickly pulled out and let his cum go all over my ass and pussy. I was just in a state of shock. How could my own husband violate my trust so blatantly? I feel like he doesn't respect me or my boundaries at all. I yelled at him and asked him why. He said that it felt better to go without. I told him that I felt as if he raped me and he tried to feign a pouty face but, I know it was bullshit and he didn't regret it. He ignored me and got dressed while I had a miniature freak out. I finally said that I did not want to have sex with him anymore because I don't trust him and I truly feel violated. That's when he started begging for forgiveness. I kicked him out and sent him to work because I just didn't want to hear it and feel utterly disgusted by the man. I looked at him and felt as if I didn't even know him. I'm on the verge of tears. I stated that I wanted a condom clearly multiple times and I did not consent to it being taken off. Is this rape or am I overreacting? Is it different because he's my husband? Does he have a right to unprotected sex with his wife? Has anyone else experienced this with their husbands? I feel that if he were my boyfriend I would dump him immediately for it but, I also don't feel like this is divorce worthy. We were trying for a kid but, this procedure made me need to stop for a month. Now idk if I should start trying with him again afterwards. I love him so much that it hurts but, I'm so confused and heartbroken. I don't even want him to touch me. Please help.
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