getting back together with ex husband

so i need advice and don’t have anyone to ask

we were divorced in January and have been separated for over a year now. i left him due to 0 communication, we were fighting constantly, he was treating me poorly and being mean and forcing me into things. the day after i left he barged into my parents house, flew off the handle and freaked me the fuck out (and my family). i’ve learned that some of the things he’s done are borderline abusive and i’ve spent the last year healing. i’m still working on some things but am a much better person now. my family (and my friends) practically hate him, and are heavily against him.

recently we’ve been talking again and there’s a lot of feelings still there. we’ve been discussing trying to make it work and going to couples therapy and basically doing what we should have a year ago. there’s a lot of shit we both have done over the year and there’s some mistrust atm but i know that if i tell my family i’m even talking to him again, my dad for sure will kick me out and never speak to me again. i also know i’ll lose several friends, including but not limited too the people i’m the closest too and have been super close with since leaving my ex.

but i can see just from last year that he has changed and is trying to better himself.

i am just unsure and confused at the moment. i don’t want to waste either of our time if it doesn’t work out. and i don’t even want to do it without the therapy because i think we need it. but i do love him more than i want too 😂 and he’s always been who i thought i’d spend forever with.