I just need to talk to someone 😭

Apologies for this being long. Me and my husband have a little baby boy due the end of July. He has been posted with a female colleague for the past 3 years now and everything has finally got on top of me. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m 7.5 months pregnant or if everything has taken its toll.

They first got posted together at the first camp, everything was fine but then they got really close. More on her behalf! (Please bars in mind I’m not the jealous, insecure, paranoid type). During the time at this camp I used to stay over on a weekend because it was before we had bought our first house together. His room was above hers within the block...she would constantly text him asking if we could keep the noise down then one day I was on my way out of the barracks with him directing me to the gates in the passenger side and she called him and asked if she could iron her kit in his room because apparently she never had an iron or ironing board (which squaddie doesn’t)!! She went up and while I was on my way home I made him stay on the phone the whole time I got back

Time went on and things started to quiet down, we got married, bought our second house together etc. Then a few month ago I had a feeling I needed to check his iwatch. He deletes messages from his phone but forgets to delete them from his watch and there were messages from her. It was a function coming up and he said he was staying overnight so they could do something. I obviously confronted him about this and he apologised for that and for putting the ‘x’ at the end of the message.

I let it go again without saying anything to her because I never want to cause trouble for him at his workplace. Anyways, a battlefield tour to Bosnia was coming up and he was one of the selected. All was fine and I was over the moon they were finally taking him somewhere. I asked if she was going and to his knowledge at the time she wasn’t. Anyways, he was due to go this Monday gone and on last Saturday morning I had the urge to check his watch again and to my surprise there were messages.

Her: have you checked orders xx

Him: I’m not in work xx

Her: (sent the orders document.)

Him: so you coming?xx

Her: yes hunny xx (emoji girl x5 below)

Him: ah good that’s made me happy again haha😂xx

Her: see you Monday xx

Him: Buzzing xx

I confronted him yet again about these beginning with an apology for even looking on his watch and I completely broke down. I asked him to look into my eyes and tell me there was nothing going on because I was beyond convinced this time and he apologised from the bottom of his heart, said he shouldn’t have text with kisses back as he wouldn’t like it if that were me doing it to another man and swore on his mam and dads graves that nothing is going on and told me how much me and the baby mean to him etc. I had to let it go even though for the rest of the time I was crying before he went because I was having horrible thought ahout going away together for. Week as 5* hotels were booked, nights out planned etc etc and I don’t trust her whatsoever!!

Bosnia has came around and he’s currently out there now having an evening mean and a function tonight and I am so insecure, I’m not eating well, I’m barely sleeping, I keep checking if they both online on WhatsApp wondering if they messaging, i panicky all day because I know they together and she will be taking loads of photos/videos of him. Please note: she’s also blocked me off Facebook!!

I’ve told him I underhand they will have to go places together and talk at work occasionally however I don’t agree to texting outside of work let alone the kisses at the end of messages. It’s broke my heart. He just doesn’t see why I don’t like her, what the issues are about texting as they just friends and it’s killing me.

He is the most kind, loving and caring husband and I honestly from the bottom of my heart trust him 100000000% but I don’t trust her in the slightest, I honestly do believe she would try something and I’m not overthinking every little minor thing! He’s reassured me so much while being away - gave me full access to sleeping arrangements, itinerary for each day and night, photos and videos showing what he is doing and who he is with.

Has anyone else faced this? Or can anyone give me advice. He’s due back Sunday but tomorrow he has a full spare day in Dubrovnik and it’s driving me insane!

Sorry about the length! Thank you 😭❤️