So terrified.

I'm excited to have this baby. I am getting better about it every day. But she started life as an accident and abortion was a very real possibility, I mean I had all the appointments and everything set up.

It was a mutual decision between me and the father to abort, but when push came to shove I just couldn't go through with it. My SO was supportive, he was scared, told me we weren't financially ready but we were emotionally ready and the rest could be worked on. I appreciated that.

But every single day I have moments if panic where I wonder if my SO is even happy about our decision to keep her, he says he is, but I cant stop my thoughts from going that way. I also get so nervous and terrified that I wont be a good mother, that my baby will somehow know her original fate and just hate us.

I love her so much already and would do anything for her but I don't know how to be a parent, I've never done anything like it and I don't wanna screw her up or for my relationship to get ruined

Sorry for the rant I just need to vent somewhere and yall are pretty supportive