I’ve always known I wanted to be a mother, from the time I was a child just entering grade school I had a love for babies. I loved baby dolls, books about babies, any type of baby toys and I always ran up to babies in public just in awe of how beautiful. One time in grade school I got in trouble for holding onto my favorite book about babies instead of putting it in the book return because I just loved looking at it. As i got older, my love for babies grew stronger, by about 12 I had a bunch of baby names picked out, I would often think about how many I wanted and when I would have them.

When I was 14 I started dating a boy who I lost my virginity to, we dated for about 2 years and everytime I would have a scare or miss my period it wouldn’t worry me too much as it would excite me in a way. Because at the time even if it was puppy love, I loved that boy and thought i would be with him forever. I would mention it to him how we could have a baby and he said I was crazy (which I was) I just loved the thought of having a baby.

When I was 16 I dated another boy for a little over a year. He was more onboard about having a baby with me, he was hesitant at first but eventually started saying he wanted one too. I missed a whole pill pack of birth control and we ttc that whole month and nothing happened. Everytime I would take a test I would cry, because even tho (besides that one month) we weren’t ttc, I wanted it so bad. I would see children walking outside and cry. I would push out my stomach and take pictures like I was pregnant. I would rub my belly like there was something in there. I might sound crazy,I know. I just wanted it so bad. And in the end he ended up cheating on me and tried telling me to get off bc and we will have a baby to make me stay w

him, but I didn’t.

Years later I am now 18, i’m dating my soulmate and the love of my life. He’s the sweetest; gentle , loyal, greatest man I ever met. I’ve mentioned it to him, and he tells me we’re too young. He’s 20. I know he’s right, I still have to finish up some high school that I slacked on making myself not graduate and I need a better job. He said he will have one with me when i’m 20. and that sounds fair i know it does i’m just so... I have a dying urge to be a mother. I still always wish I would see two lines when I take pregnancy tests. I look at how pretty scenery is and picture me taking maternity pics there. I think about me being pregnant and giving birth and having a family and having my own little person thats half me half the man I love and it just makes me tear up how bad I want it 😢........