I did something completely out of the norm and totally out of my comfort zone. You were out with the guys and I wanted to spice things up a bit. I took a shower and got the baby fed showered and in bed. I put on my sexy silk pants and red lingerie under my long silk robe to match. You came home and mentioned something about my pants. You took a quick glance and went on about your business. I told you to go take a shower. You came out and we watched a movie on the couch. You didn’t notice anything. After the movie you were in the kitchen getting a drink and made a joke. I jokingly said “you’re blind as a bat and completely oblivious”. You didn’t understand. We went outside to smoke a cigarette and you made another comment about my pants saying how they looked comfortable. Hating the fact that I had to bring it to your attention defeating the whole point of it all.....I said “these are comfortable but this is not” while removing my pants and showing you what I had on. Your response was crushing when you said “oh that looks nice” in such a monotone and uninterested way. I immediately felt ridiculous and rejected and wanted to take it off. I didn’t tell you that though. We went to bed and I was getting a shirt out of the dryer to put in and you asked why. I told you that I was taking off what I was wearing. You asked me to take it off slowly. I showed some interest so I was thinking that things were somewhat okay and you were interested. I get in the bed and you cuddle me and start to fall asleep. You wake up and try touching on me and things seem to be taking off.....still feels like you’re not really into it. You say you want me to get on top so you can cum in my ass and I immediately get turned off. You’re so back and forth and I’m confused as to whether you’re feeling me and the situation or not. I said “whoa hold on I didn’t agree to that” so you said “ok well I’ll just let my dick go soft and go to sleep and you can be mad” so I laid down and you went to sleep. I spent the night feeling rejected and hurt. I put myself out there in a completely vulnerable way and started off the night feeling confident and sexy. I ended it feeling alone and unwanted/undesired and humiliated. And then you wonder why I woke up and didn’t speak. You wonder why I got dressed for work and left without a word. You wonder why I don’t feel like talking. I don’t have anything to say and you just don’t seem to care at all. You say I’m being a bitch and have an attitude. You feel some type of way about me walking out without telling you bye. But you knew I was going to be mad and upset when you did/said what you did/said. You admitted it in the statement. Now I don’t feel like trying anymore. I don’t feel like putting myself in the situation to get hurt again. And you’re too inconsiderate and selfish to care. I’m hurt and alone and to top it off feel ugly and unwanted. Every bit of confidence I gained getting ready you crushed. I can’t look at you the same anymore. And it kills me.

UPDATE:

We got into a fight and I had been trying to find the right time to say something so it just all came out. His response was “if I don’t respond the way you want me to then it’s wrong. You’re never satisfied with anything I say. What was I supposed to do or say. I said you looked nice.” Not to mention he was slightly drunk and I didn’t know and he says that I shouldn’t hold it against him for what he said or did. Like that excuses it or makes me feel any better. I told him I was hurt and he just blew it off and didn’t give a shit. Now he says that he wants a divorce because he’s “better off without me and much happier being alone”.

UPDATE #2:

He came back to the issue a few days later and said that he noticed it from the very beginning but didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He says that he’s never had anybody do that for him before so he didn’t know how to respond or how we was supposed to react. We still haven’t had sex, other than the half assed sex in the shower. Which was again completely one sided with no real interaction or connection. He got what he wanted and then got out. But that’s all water under the bridge now. Things have spiraled out of control and he’s a hateful horrible person and wants a divorce. He says that he never loved me and never wanted to marry me in the first place. According to him, I never made him happy and he regrets the day he met me. He also doesn’t want anyone in his life and wants to be alone and die alone. He wants me to take our child and move away and never talk to him again. I love him but I love myself and my son more. It’s a toxic environment for my son and I and I’m finally picking myself up with the strength I have left and leaving. We deserve better.