Someone tell me this is okay

A couple hours ago, my last

IUI cycle ended. Zero sperm, 2 polypectomies, and 8 donor-IUI’s later, nothing. Our (?) first and only

IVF cycle is started. But I feel alone. I feel selfish. Do I truly love my husband more than my need to have a child? I cannot let it go. I can’t imagine life without a little creature to love and teach and support. I feel like my husband would be perfectly happy with just the two of us, but he knows it is as important to me as the air I breath. Underneath it all, I know it is is taking a toll on him because of the financial burden, and then the whole biological thing that I’m just trying to desensitize myself to. But what about him? 🥺 Don’t know how to talk to this more with him, because I’m afraid he may tell me the truth. Help.