I'm not sure what to do...

I'm 18 & a new mom. & ive been out of it since I've had my daughter. I keep trying to tell myself it's not postpartum depression because that's not supposed to be me.

My daughter was the result of an assault last year that I never could tell anyone about. I kept it from my partner and my family. My entire pregnancy went unnoticed because I never had any symptoms, still menstruated and didn't show at all until the last six weeks. I think the week after I found out is when I started feeling the way I do but after delivery it just got worse..

last night I completely broke down and was just crying uncontrollably.. I tried reaching out to my mom and the first thing she said was I was just having a fit. And I felt so belittled. I hate feeling this way and admittedly after I found out I was pregnant and almost due I contemplated ending it quite a bit. After I had her those thoughts mostly went away but I still can't help feeling down. I want to reach out for help but after the shut down from my mom I'm scared they might try to take my daughter..

I'm beyond lost.