Why am I such an idiot😔😔 I had a gut feeling something wasnt right and I chose to ignore it🤦🏽‍♀️

Two months ago I started talking to this guy in the military. Things were amazing. I've always struggled w self confidence issues and he told me every single day how beautiful he thought I was. We hung out 4 times total. He would always ask to facetime or talk on the phone. Things started changing. He went from texting me back within seconds to ignoring me for hours and still being on social media. He would completely ignore my phone calls and then text me back right after it would hang up.. we talked multiple times about it and if I ever tried to leave him he would say he wanted to be a better man for me and that he was gonna do better. I fell for it every time (we had this argument more than I'm willing to admit).

I drove 8 hours to see him.. we ended up getting a hotel so we could lay around and chill when we werent doing stuff during the day... he kept trying to have sex and I kept telling him no I wasnt ready (this is the same guy I posted about with the messages between us.. the one where he was talking ab us having sex and me trying to explain to him again that I'm not ready since my ex raped

me but I offered to suck his dick in an effort to get out there again and he said "oh")... yeah I was an idiot for staying w him after literally everybody commented saying run.

Anyway. He kept pushing the sex and the last time i told him no he rolled over and wouldnt talk to me.. so I let him😭 instantly regretted it and was hysterical afterwards.. it was terrible.

Fast forward to two nights ago.. he had been ignoring me all day so when he finally answered the phone we talked ab it. He acted totally uninterested in my feelings. "Can we just talk ab this tomorrow".. but we ended up talking ab it and he apologized and said he didnt wanna lose me and he loved me and things would change... yesterday morning I woke up and no good morning text. So I waited. 2:00 (his time) came and that's when I texted him...

Havent heard from him at all.. I'm willing to admit that I acted crazy. Really crazy at times. But I fully believe that the way a girl acts in a relationship depends on how to guy treats her... if your bf is being sketch and ignoring you and dont tell his friends or family or anybody about you. Just get out. Because itll cause you to be super insecure and act crazy.

*we moved way too fast. That was probably a major issue but he literally told me he loved me within the first month of talking before we met each other.. I swear I wasnt the only one saying "I love you" after only 2 months😅