Wednesday 24th April I was 39+3, we did the deed in the early hours of the morning and my mum and i went out for lunch and a long walk with the dog. I was already counting down to 40+12 convinced nothing was going to happen any time soon. I had had no real signs or symptoms that things were getting close other than losing a bit of my mucus plug on the 22nd and 23rd. Having seen other peoples stories and experiences I knew that although this could be a good sign of impending labour I also knew it could mean nothing and be another few weeks. I'd had no real pressure or pains down below, my bump hadnt "dropped" and no show.

It was 8:50pm and I had just finished running the bath, stood completely naked in our bedroom talking to James when my waters went. I had no prior warning just a gush of water like someone had turned a tap on. James and I just stared at each other wide eyed in shock before he announced "what the fuck is that?" Obviously we both knew but I responded "how do I know, either I've pissed myself or my waters have just broken." I got James to check the colour of the liquid and to smell it to determine that it wasnt infect pee (he got all the fun jobs!) and we called my mum to come over. I knew if I called the MAU that they would tell me to put a pad on, lie down for 30 mins and if I stood and was still losing liquid that they would get me to go in so I did this before calling them.Once we got to the MAU around 10pm they confirmed that my waters had gone and told me I had 24 hours for things to progress naturally otherwise I had to call at 6pm the following night to be induced.Prior to labour I had convinced myself that I wanted a water birth without any pain relief (HA! How foolish pre-labour Kylie was!) So I was rather disappointed to know that this was likely to not happen. We got home about 1am and went to bed. I woke at 6:30 and nothing had happened during the night. I had a bit of a bloody show when I changed my bad and had a few small pains between 6:30am and 8:30 which then died off. We filled the morning with me bouncing on the ball, watching stand up comedy to get the oxytocin going and walking the dog.Fast forward to around 4pm I started to get VERY mild contractions ranging from 8 minutes apart to 20 minutes with no regularity in strength or length. I called the labour ward at 6pm and they told me to have something to eat and then make our way there for 8pm. I chose soup for dinner thinking it would be kinder on the midwife was she to wear it during the pushing stage! 😂

We got to the hospital about 8:30pm and were showed to my cubicle. The shared ward had 4 beds but luckily only one of the other beds was in use. They put me on the monitor for half an hour and then they examined me to find that I wasnt dilated at all and my cervix was tilted back still. She tried to tilt it forward for me (very uncomfortable) but no success. She inserted the pessary at 9:15pm and told me they would check me again at 3:15am as it had to be in for 6 hours. Pretty much straight the way my contractions started 6 minutes apart and lasting about 30 seconds. These were pretty mild and easily breathed through, this was a doddle! (Oh dear, oh dear) after about 90 minutes my contractions went down to 3 minutes apart still lasting about 30-35 seconds. During this time I tried to have a bath but found I couldn't really submerge myself properly and swiftly abandoned that. We spent a bit of time in the family room as they had rocking chairs and this helped to distract me through the contractions. Around 1am my contractions went down to 2 minutes apart and ramped up in intensity ALOT! I tried my best to find comfortable positions, I found leaning over the back of the bed and bopping my hips up and down helped quite a bit but the most painful for me was lying down! I'll never forget breathing through contractions whilst James and my mum watched me eating cheese and onion sandwiches and pork pie 🤦‍♀️

I remember at one point quite close to the end of the 6 hours making a comment to my mum saying that something didnt seem right that it was REALLY painful and nothing was working like it had before. When I was examined at 3:20 they found that my cervix was forward and I was 2cm dilated. In hindsight progress is progress but at the time i was absolutely devastated and had my first wobble thinking "how am i going to get through another 8cms, this is hard" and thought to myself that I wouldnt be able to do it. I knew that the next stage of the induction was the hormone drip and that this would ramp it up even more and I had already committed myself to an epidural in my brain by this point. Every time I was having a contraction I was getting tense and couldnt relax and they seemed to be lasting forever. I knew from doing the positive birth company online course that this was the worst thing for progression and I needed to relax as best as I could. So the epidural seemed like the most sensible option to get me there.

After the examination they moved me to the delivery room and I ended up staying here until we went home as the entire ward was so quiet and there was only a handful of ladies in giving birth. I told the midwife that I thought I wanted the epidural and she agreed this was a good idea. Turns out I was getting "dual contractions" meaning I was having 2 at a time with no break. So I was contracting for 2 mins with a 2 min break. She told me to try the gas and air whilst waiting for the anaesethist but I just didnt like it. I dont feel like it really did anything for me and for me it was more of a "distraction" from the pain rather than a "relief". By this point we had been awake for 24 hours, I had barely eaten and I just knew that I wanted to go straight to the epidural. The epidural was administered sucessfully on the 2nd attempt around 5/5:30 am. I was able to still move my legs etc so could move myself around the bed which was good as I was expecting to be completely immobile. I had asked the 2 midwives if they thought it was highly possible he would be born that day and they said that hopefully he would be. They told me to try to sleep but how could I switch off knowing that he wasnt going to be a may baby!! Haha winning! They said they would check me again around midday to see how I was progressing but they didnt need to do that as around 9:30am I had a massive bloody show and I was fully dilated. This leads me to believe that the epidural had really helped my body relax and progress much quicker (4 hours later) than when I was doing it without any pain relief as I was so tense.

They examined me again and told me that part of the anterior lip of the cervix was still a little bit thick so they would give me another hour for that to thin out and then another hour again for him to descend even further down the birth canal to put him, and me, in the best position when it came to pushing.

I started pushing at 11:40 and it took me 2 hours and 3 minutes to birth him. During this time I had multiple midwives coming in and out to see what was happening. Turns out the ward was still very very quiet and they had nothing to do so wanted to be involved and see him born. When Grayson was born there was about 8 midwives in the room all cheering me on. It was a very surreal moment hearing so many people saying "come on Jeff", almost like having my own personal cheerleading squad haha. The doctors came to check on me after an hour of pushing, hospital procedure, and were happy that Grayson was very chilled and had no decelerations so were happy for me to continue pushing unassisted for the 2nd hour.

Just before the pushing had started the epidural had started to wear off, we had not been topping it up as it was agreed I was coping well and I could feel the contractions again which helped make it easier for me to direct my pushes to the right area. Around 20 minutes before he was born the doctors started to discuss forceps as it was taking a while to get his head out but I told them no way was that happening and I was going to get him out myself. He was still happy and not distressed at all so to me there was no reason for them to use forceps. The midwife actually praised me for saying this later on as it stopped them from intervening in that way. I remember just pushing and pushing with everything I had but it felt like I was getting nowhere. I remember feeling frustrated and kept apologising after each contraction that he wasnt out yet. The midwives were just laughing at me as they knew how hard I was working. Right before he was born it was decided they would provide me with a small episiotomy to assist and once they did he was born in 2 pushes. I gave birth in the semi-cumbent position meaning I was practically sitting up so I could see him come out. Once his head emerged we realised he had his hand on his face and that explained why it was taking so long getting him down the birth canal and out!! Little tinker! He was placed on my chest for skin to skin, we had delayed cord clamping (his cord was actually donated to the Antony nolan trust however disappointed to find out it was too small. It has to be 95g and his was unfortunately 84g) James cut the cord and they stitched me up whilst I lay there thinking I've bloody done it and I just want to go home now! I was sick twice whilst pushing, oh so glamorous, but happy to report I didnt poo myself!! HOW SURPRISING. HAHA. We were allowed home 6 hours later and my 2nd stage of labour was recorded as 8 hours 53 minutes. All in all it was about 16 hours from the pessary being inserted and 40 hours from my waters breaking.