You broke my heart, you broke me

After losing the last baby I haven’t had a day without going to sleep praying that one day you’ll change your mind and you let me have the experience of having a baby again, of becoming a mom again. You left me alone going through the depression of losing all our babies, you were never really there for me. It never mattered to you, in fact you were happy they were never born. But it broke me.

Then you moved, and decided to have your own life away from us. Not only are you cheating, but keeping an array of girlfriends available for your time away from us. You take them places we used to go, disrespecting me and our family in public. This is unforgivable, and it destroyed every ounce of faith I had of figuring things out with you. It broke my heart in a million pieces.

You want me to be everything, the best mom, the good housewife, the perfect wife, and the worker that is available whenever you need it.

I’m done. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t cry anymore about everything I’ve lost and about everything I thought we would be. I can’t be sad and depressed anymore, and alone.

Our daughter needs me. She needs me more than she needs us. And I need to pick myself up and really be the best mom that is out there for our child.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you wanted me to be, I’m sorry we lost so much time. But I’m not sorry we have our beautiful princess and I hope for the sake of her we can do this the right way.

I love you, I always will. But I can’t be with you anymore.