A month ago today, April 24th, my 22nd birthday. I lost my baby at 6 weeks. I had picked everything out, made the whole registry. I bought the cutest outfits and saved countless ones on my phone I could just imagine her wearing. Her name was Brinley Faye after my grandmother and she was going to meet her on Christmas Day this year. I know I wasn’t very far along and there was no way I could have known it was a little girl but I absolutely fell in love with this baby and who this baby was going to be and I felt everything I believed. I dreamed of her and could see her big brother protecting her and loving her. My son would rub my belly and give her kisses, he is only two but he understood. We just cried tears of joy the day before when we seen that little bean on the screen. My heart was so full.

The next day I lost her I just couldn’t move I couldn’t stop crying I couldn’t stop thinking of everything she could have been. Physically feeling my baby leave my body not even fully formed or alive and holding her in my hands, praying that she gains her wings to be God was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. I couldn’t let go I couldn’t give up. I’ve never felt a pain like this is my life before, it hurts worse with each day that goes by.

4 days ago I got a positive test. My rainbow baby. Today, May 24th, I’m going to the OB to check on my rainbow baby. Not one person on this earth could tell me that she’s not a beautiful angel & that she isn’t with God looking down on us and answering our prayers because she absolutely is. I don’t think I will ever get over this but I know there are good days to come and I know last night was the first night in a month that I didn’t cry myself to sleep and that’s me getting stronger and letting the pain settle because after all that rain and darkness in my head and my heart, there’s a rainbow there to help lead me through. I can’t thank you enough sweet girl. Mommy will always love you and celebrate you on my birthday every year, I will see you again one day ♥️🌈

I want to wish everyone a happy and healthy pregnancy! We are strong and beautiful and we can do this, we are mothers! 🙏🏼