The hallways that most never really see, that most never really understand, have become familiar. A place that most only think of as a place of emergency, a quick but long visit, leaves me in a state of awe. This place I've known since I was 11 years old and understood nothing, a place I grew to learn by 16, and a place I now at 23 have grown weary of. This place has never felt much like a happy but bittersweet place because with every visit was a new thing to learn, a new reason to be here. Over and over the place seems more of a home away from home rather than a hospital. This place has taught me more than patience but how to be a big sister, how to hold it together even when I'm falling apart. A hospital is never a place you have sleepovers but for me, it's where we have had countless sleepovers, with countless laughs and tears. We have always done our best to make the best, always tried to rest when allowed. This time the hospital feels cold, feels quiet, feels excruciating. This it is more difficult to hold back tears when I talk to you because when I do, the silence and the sounds of machines respond instead of your voice. I cant imagine the fear you feel but you have to know I'm here and I will not leave your side until you leave this place. I will not let go until you make me. You are my brother and no matter what hospital we have to learn the ways to, I will be here. I'll never leave your side again. I am feeled with regret but I know you know I love you and that I am here now. Stay strong little brother and know your big sister is here and is praying to whoever is listening up in the sky.

Please continue prayers for Levi. I know many have asked if I am okay or how my parents are and while I do my best to answer .... none of us are okay even when we say it. My brother has had many times over the years where we thought we were gonna lose him. But this time is different. Even with him getting better it will not be the end. It will not be forever. Pray that he is comfortable and able to wake up soon. Thank you all for prayers.

I never once thought that one day my brother wouldn't be with me. I never once thought that one day I would have to think of what it would be like without him. I never once thought he wouldn't ever get better. And while the sounds of the machine fills the hospital room I contemplate what it would be life and try to hold back the tears that want to fall. Yes, he is responding. But no, he will not always be here. They to comprehend a reality where your brother will get better for a while ... to only become worse after. He is getting better and then his decision will be the final decision. I dont know when they will wake him up. All I know is I will be here through it all. Whatever he wants ,I'll support because that is what big sisters are for. He wants me to be strong for everyone so that is what I will do until the end. I keep saying until whatever happens happens because that is the reality. While yes he is getting "better" in a sense.... he will not stay better. And while many say "its gods will" I refuse to accept that. Why would a God choose to take the life of a child instead of a criminal. Why would God take the good ones instead of the bad. Why would God torture a child and take a childhood away with disease ? I see positive but I'm becoming angry. Please continue to pray for positivity and comfort for my family and I. We all need it.

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