Help..

My boyfriend and I have been together going on 4 years now. We miscarried our first baby in 2016 and welcomed our little girl into our lives on May 14th. I also have a 5 year old from a previous relationship. My kids are my whole world.

Lately, I feel like my boyfriend and I have lost the “spark” that brought us together. Our fights get really bad. Nothing physical, all verbal. I try to communicate how I feel and what I want/need in our relationship but it gets me nowhere. I know he loves my boy but I dont think he likes him. He’s constantly on my sons ass. I do correct him and advocate for my child. I also know he loves the child we share. But again, I don’t feel like he’s 100% in it, ya know? Since she’s been born, he’s gotten up with her maybe 4 times and even then, I had to ask. He’ll get upset when asked to do things with her and sigh while saying things like “I guess”. He doesn’t really even hold her unless asked. I’m mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. I work for the state I live in as a CNA (just started my job when I was 27 weeks pregnant) but was fortunate enough to get paid parental leave (6 weeks). He lost his job right before I had our daughter so financially, everything is on me. Which would be fine if he’d help do things around the house. But no, he literally does nothing to help me out unless I lose my shit. I don’t let things bother me generally and I let things build and build till I blow up so when I do, it’s bad. When I finally blow I start to cry and I’ll walk away because at that point I’m mad at everything. I’m mad that I’m crying, I’m mad that I’m not getting help, I’m mad that I’m feelin lone, etc. He’ll say things when I’m walking away like “shut your bitch ass up” or “yeah go pout in the other room” as he sits on his phone. I feel like we’re growing apart intimately. Let’s face it, I feel like we’re growing apart on every level.

Has this happened to anyone else? I know it’s part of having a baby and maybe I’m emotional because of hormones evening out. I’m NOT faultless in this at all and I have plenty of flaws. If you went through this and stayed with your partner, how did you get it back? How were things okay again? Is there hope?