Hi everyone!

I’m currently a single mom to a sweet 4 month old baby boy. I left his dad 3 days after I had our son, due to him threatening me and saying he wanted to beat the crap out of me. He was verbally abusive throughout my pregnancy and dealt with depression and I basically took care of him like his mother more than it being a relationship. I took care of myself. He wasn’t like this until I got pregnant. I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and it was so out of the blue that he said that he wanted to hurt me. Still, I didn’t want to raise my son in that type of environment, so I left.

In the 4 months I’ve been gone, my son’s father has been working really hard to better himself. He takes anger management classes, goes to church, and is always checking up on my son and I to make sure we’re taken care of. He is a wonderful Dad and loves spending time with our son. He apologizes to me for things he’s said and done and tells me he loves me and hopes we can work it out someday. I still love him too and some days I do want to try and work it out, I’m just scared that he’ll go down a bad path again and I mentally and physically can’t deal with that.

I told myself I wasn’t going to seriously date for awhile; but I did download a dating site to just casually go on dates. A part of me feels guilty for wanting to do that because I do love my son’s dad; but at the same time I also want to be young and have a social life and have fun too.

I’m just not sure what to do or if I’m being a bad person. Help! Picture is of my handsome son, Denver Kieth ❤️