*Maybe a slight trigger*

A bit of a long post as well...

I hope this post doesn't offend anyone in anyway. But for those who were in toxic relationships and stayed in them/kept going back, what finally made you leave?

My SIL started seeing this guy while she lived by us and family. He seemed okay guy in the beginning and she got pregnant by him not to long after my husband and I, which no judgement from us.. She decided to move to a different state with him to get away from family drama that was going on in that time, which we supported cause we wanted her to be happy and focus on her mental health.

When she came back down cause my FIL passed recent, we found out that he was abusive. His family demeaned her as well. She had no rights to social media. He monitored her phone (which was his) and every contact she had outside of his house he controlled. And while he was down here cause of the recent passing, he kept trying to get her to go to another city to party. No regard for what happened to her father. We also found out he had tried to force himself on her in the hotel they were in. So, she decided to stay with family cause of it and he, of course, was pissed. Said shit about the family and calling her names etc.

We were happy to have her back since our little would grow up together and it was nice to have the family together again after such hard times. We told her it was no problem that she didn't have a job. We would help her get insurance and get things for the baby and her. Well, she got into a car with him just to "talk" behind our backs and he took kept driving and would not take her back. We found out in the morning she was gone and she wanted help and had escaped him. 4 hours away from where we live.

My husband and I (at around 31 weeks pregnant) drove an 8 round trip to bring her back home. When we picked her up, she had a black eye and told us that he had punched her pregnant belly and kept her trapped. She had to climb out the window when he parked on the side of a highway (cause he was tired apparently) and flagged down a cop to drive her somewhere safe and in public. He had apparently tried approaching her several times, trying to get her to get back in. (Btw this guy has charges for kidnapping back in his state from his last ex)

She stayed finally. We just got insurance set up. Her friend (and family friend) gave her a car. Another family friend of ours gave her bouncers, baby clothes, essentials etc. I had stuff set up to bring her as well. And my MIL was going to help get her license and bought her multiple baby things as well.

We just found out that she left again with him. She snuck out and left a note, saying sorry. Her excuse was she didn't want anyone to have to babysit her kid when she gets a job and having to rely on everyone. But, this guy doesn't work and lives with his mom. He takes his mom's paycheck every week and spends it on video game currency and shit like Gucci bags and Prada sunglasses. She'll still be relying on them! And that's if they even "let" her have a job since they're abusive anyways

Now, she's posting online and telling everyone how excited she is for her baby to come and how they're planning a baby shower. It makes me so angry as the rest of the family cause we've done nothing but support her (not even just financially) for a long time cause we love her to death. I know you can't help someone who won't help themselves. It's just she knows he's abusive. She's aware. I just don't know what she's thinking.

What can we do here to not feel like such shit after this? And again to those who've been there, when did you finally leave and stay gone? Any advice is also appreciated...