Does anyone else feel.. indifferent about their miscarriage?

Question

I found out that I was pregnant a few years ago. It wasn’t planned and I got pregnant on birth control. I had been on birth control for 3 years at the time I found out. I found out, stressed about it for a few days and then lost the pregnancy. Boom boom I didn’t even have time to process anything. I’m somewhat convinced that my reaction to finding out caused me to lose the baby because I was so shocked and I panicked and remember feeling the fear physically in my body and didn’t know how to tell anyone I barely even had the time to make a doctors appointment. 1. I was panicking because I was pregnant on birth control and thinking my birth control and the medicine I was on for a chronic illness would cause horrible birth defects to my baby. When I went to the doctor to confirm that I was really pregnant and that I was really miscarrying. I did not feel sad. 
I didn’t feel relieved. I wasn’t happy or unhappy. I was just indifferent. I still feel that way years later and I don’t know if that makes me a bad person. Yes I’m convinced that my stress and shock caused me to miscarry but I do not blame myself for that because I was 19 years old and had nothing and I’m only human. I was just scared. Sometimes I forget that this even happened and that is what makes me feel shitty. Should I feel bad? Should I have mourned? What’s wrong with me?

Answer

You don’t need to feel bad for those feelings! Miscarriages are really so common and just a part of life. I was sad about mine, but I also don’t think your reaction should make you feel bad either.

Answer

I felt indifferent with my first miscarriage. It doesn’t make you bad nor do you have to “feel” anything at all. You’re fine and shouldn’t over think it . Some women can’t let go of an early miscarriage for years.. be thankful you’re not that incapacitated by it .

Answer

I had a miscarriage I feel weird and indifferent about. My first miscarriage was very upsetting since we were trying. My second miscarriage we were not trying, it was very much unplanned and I even took Plan B the day we had sex but still ended up pregnant. We actually decided on abortion for that pregnancy and went to the appointment and during the ultrasound found out I was miscarrying. They sent me home and the next morning I passed it. That was a few years ago and I still feel super weird about it, not sad because it was an unwanted pregnancy, but also not relieved because having 2 miscarriages made me worry there was something wrong with me.

Answer

Back in December 2017 I had what I thought was a weird period. My sister suggested I take a test. I found out 3 days before Christmas I was pregnant. 
I lost the pregnancy 2 weeks later. No idea how far along I was. Never got to see a dr. I know now it was most likely a chemical. I had no connection to it. I didn't feel pregnant it was an empty feeling 
My sister when through the same thing with her first lost. She kept saying she felt empty inside and then found out it stopped growing 2 weeks prior. I had that as well with my second. Everyone goes through different feelings. It's completely normal. Nothing you did caused it to miscarry.

Answer

My main feeling when I my miscarriage was guilt. I still feel guilty. I don’t think I’ll ever stop. There are times when I think about what would have happened had I not miscarried, but then I realize I wouldn’t have my daughter and then I feel even more guilty.

Answer

I feel like you probably didn’t have enough time to “bond” with your baby or the idea of being pregnant. My mom miscarried at 5 or 6 weeks (a very long time ago) and I don’t even think she had even taken a test. The doctor just told her she probably miscarried. I don’t feel like she even had much time to bond with that baby. My sister was conceived shortly after, and she always said that if it wasn’t for the miscarriage, my sister wouldn’t be here. I feel like she would have had a more difficult time if she was further into her pregnancy. There were many other family members who miscarried in their 2nd trimesters, and it was extremely hard for them.

Does anyone else feel.. indifferent about their miscarriage?

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