I used to cut and now that I’m pregnant I have so many urges to do it. I’m feeling out of it. I’ve been so over reactive and I’m scared my boyfriend is going to hate me. Maybe he’ll never want another baby with me again because of how insane I’ve become carrying this one. I want to be better and I’m so close to hurting myself but I just know that will make nothing better I’ll just be seen as even more crazy.

I do really care about my pregnancy I waited for this for so long. I wanted a baby so bad I would cry for one. Now I’m blessed and get to carry this child. I feel horrible though. I won’t do anything to myself but I wish the feeling would go away.