How long?

Question

How long do you let your little one cry when putting them down for bed/nap before going in and picking them up?
I usually wait about 2-5 minutes (baby is 16.5 weeks) before going in.  Sometimes she is able to put herself to sleep and other times she can't.

Answer

If mine is screaming i go get her right away. She can’t stop herself from screaming. If she screams longer than about a minute she goes nuclear ☢️ and has a full meltdown. Such a drama queen 👸 . If she is just fussy, i let her be (no time limit) she will fall asleep typically within 10 minutes. Her fussy varies from light crying to grunting... most people think she is crying but I keep telling them “oh you will know the difference” lol

Answer

Mine goes down when he's drowsy and 9/10 puts himself to sleep within 10 min but in that time he will fuss a little if he cries it's only to have his binky put back in. So I put it back in and walk right back out. Bed time is bedtime. It's strictly business. Just like all his bed time feedings, I hear him fuss (if it's been less than 2 hours I try to put binky back in ) if he doesn't take his binky I know he's hungry but if it's been over 2 hours I just go make his bottle come back to his room (always kept dark at night ) feed , burp, change lay him back down and walk out if he fusses I go back and give him the binky. Only 2 times in the ALMOST 16 weeks of his life has he not gone back to sleep right after feeding. Once, he cried for an hour and then passed out and the other time he just hung out awake and talked to himself for about 2 hours in his crib wanted fed again and went back to sleep.

Answer

Never. It causes actual psychological damage to leave a baby to cry. They simply learn that no one is coming and eventually stop and then people think they have learnt to self soothe which is a myth. Self soothing is a developmental milestone that requires emotional regulation which they don’t develop until they’re a few years old. They learn to stay quiet because they know their cries (the only way they can communicate a need) will not be answered and they lose trust and hope in their carers. The high levels of the cortisol hormone released during their crying and being ignored become a baseline for life and they are more likely to struggle with depression and anxiety as adults.

Answer

Just a few mins. Our 4 month old usually falls asleep on his own for bed. I will get him when he is crying but he normally whines a bit when he is tossing and turning a few minutes before he falls asleep.

Answer

If he's just fussing/light crying I'll let him go for maybe 5 mins. Once he starts to really cry I'll go and try to soothe him without picking him up, if that doesn't work I'll hold him until he's calm and sleepy.

Answer

I have a volume I listen for. My LO has what I call a squawk. It’s like a unhappy sounding chatter/ slight cry. I don’t pick her up because it seems be her way of getting to sleep even though it sounds slightly sad. If it escalates to a real cry, I go right away. I pick her up only until she stops crying then pop her back in the crib & repeat if she starts crying again. (Usually not needed)

Answer

I don’t let him cry when I lay him down. I put him down sleepy but if he isn’t okay with being put down then I don’t. Usually it’s just when he isn’t feeling well/teething that he doesn’t want to be put down.

How long?

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