Need some advice

I got married May 25th 2019, we have three children, I have my a daughter 9 and my son 7 and he has a son 4. Well I came into my stepsons life when he was 2 and I got him off the bottle and silly cups and I potty trained him. His mom is not there like a mom should.

Well here is our problem.

His father is a controlling person.

Our first family trip to Cincinnati zoo he got drunk after and then blew up on me called me a controlling bitch and that all I want to do is control his son and his grandson and he will stop me.

He apologized to me almost a month later.

Well are now married and he still thinks my step son needs to be with them threw the week and we can have him every once and awhile on the weekends (not the kind of mom I am) they have gave him diet soda and regular soda since he was little and he now has to have oral surgery to fix his teeth and we told them no soda and they still do it behind our backs. I try

to tell my husband that he needs to put his feet down before social service gets involved. Neither of us want conflict what should we do?

A few pictures of my little family at my wedding

My boys

My only princess

My husband and I