My husband is jealous of our baby.

He guiltily says he feels like I don’t love him anymore and has constant nightmares that I will leave him.

I got pregnant two weeks after the wedding and it’s all my fault because I was a hormonal baby crazy. monster that month...I did not expect it to happen immediately. Even though our baby is very wanted and loved, my husband is having a difficult time.

Our baby is 2 months old. I do 99% of the baby care stuff because my husband is gone at work 10 hours a day. My life has been flipped upside down as I quit my job to stay home with the baby (a blessing for me, not complaining). I love my baby but it has been so hard for me and I often feel like a failure. For most of my baby’s life he’s been up every two hours or less needing me. I feel like I am constantly drained...99% of my energy goes to the baby and 1% goes to keeping the house clean, taking care of our many pets, and trying to stay alive. I forget to eat, I haven’t showered since last Friday....but our baby is happy and thriving, our pets are fed and loved, the house is adequate as it can be with all the fur and laundry and dishes we accumulate...

My poor husband is having a breakdown and I just feel numb. I care deeply for him but I feel like im so drained I can’t even take care of myself. I feel like I have nothing left to give. It is also hard to tell him this because I just make him feel worse. He is so worried I won’t want him anymore, he’s upset that we don’t have sex like we used to, and he feels like I barely show him any affection. I feel like I’m trying but even listening to this in my 1 hour between the bath, nurse, bedtime routine and my bedtime makes me want to crawl into a hole because it’s too much for me to handle. I feel like after a day of the baby crying for things now my husband is crying for things. I feel awful to feel so insensitive but I’m in survival mode! All I want is my mommy.

People offer to watch the baby for dates but that’s a few hours at best and it’s a big production. My husband and I have fought every weekend for weeks. Any fun thing we do together we end up talking about what bothers us and it escalates because it’s emotional. Now we are fighting in our free time at night too. I go to bed crying from exhaustion and our fights now after being cheerful and as loving as I can manage to him all evening. I’m breaking now and I know if I start saying all that troubles me he’s gonna lose it and I just want to avoid another fight. I dread spending time with him because of the negativity and how it’s so draining when I just need support, but that’s only making things worse. I feel too much pressure to have sex...I’m uncomfortable with my new body (even though he likes it) and I’m having trouble getting into the mood when the baby is in the other room about to need something! And even if the baby is asleep I just can’t switch on a light switch and be horny. I have had sex with him three times since the birth, so once a week since I was cleared.

I’m trying so hard but I can’t do this. I don’t know what to do. I feel awful to admit but all I feel is that my husband is a huge weight on me in this time I need someone to lighten the load. I feel like I’m the only thing holding us all together and everyone’s gnawing at the ropes.

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