Here I am. 41 and trying. I had been married once and he fooled me for years. Asking me to wait and wait. But to raise his daughter. Which I did dutifully and without reservation. At 39 he admitted he never intended on having another child. And we divorced. The lie he had me holding on to is a crime.

I became a nurse and I dedicated my life to children. Presently I serve girls who often don’t have families. Some say this is my purpose. But I don’t want that to be my purpose. This isn’t the version of motherhood I want.

Now at 41 I’m trying again with my a man that deserves me. But it’s not happening. And I’m devastated. The anxiety and depression is ruining my relationship as well. Some days I get so depressed I don’t see the point in this life. It all feels so meaningless and I really struggle. Some days I don’t want to get out of bed. Please send messages of inspiration. There are moments I can’t bare this.