Trying to not be upset, while still being excited for my family and friends.

I know 5 months isn’t long compared to others who have been trying for a bay even longer. However, I have been off the pill for 5 months in hopes of having a baby. My sister just announced they are having their third, unexpectedly. Some friends from church also announced their third is on the way, plus another friend who is due soon.

I’m excited for all of them! I love babies and I get another nephew or niece to love and spoil!! On the flip side I start to feel really really sad that it’s not me and my husband who get to make these announcements. I have to fight off the feeling of jealousy and these upsetting thoughts that creep in whenever my sister mentions being pregnant. Am I being selfish?

I’ve never been one to voice my feelings, especially the ones that concern pregnancy because I have a lot of health factors and I just don’t want to hear the odds that are against me. It hurts to think about them, so I get really quiet when it comes to us trying for a baby. I need prayer. I need confirmation that it’s ok to feel the way I do. I know God has a plan far better than I could imagine, but this really hurts.