So used to the abuse and mistreat it’s all I think about

I’ve never been treated with love out of love in anything ... always ended up being the sex toy and being treated like nothing ... is it strange that when I Day dream I don’t daydream about being loved or in a good relationship but rather about how I’ll act in a certain time while being abused... maybe hoping that when they see me down they’ll react and change and realize that they shouldn’t treat me this way... I need help and till now I’ve realized ...