My birth plan didn’t go as planned

I originally wanted to go natural. I was petrified of the epidural. I hate needles. So April 1st I went into the hospital because I thought I was leaking fluid. They checked me with a speculum and all was fine.

Within HOURS of getting home, around 3am April 2nd, I started with very dull cramps that came every 20 minutes. I couldn’t sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time. I would have to force myself back to sleep.

Fast forward to around noon April 2nd. I remember telling my mom “I just have to poop and I can’t.”

Around 5pm I finally gave in and went to the hospital. They checked me, and I was 5-6cm dilated and 100% effaced. I was in so much pain that I would just squirm and scream. I couldn’t handle the pain.

Once they got me into a room, I was DEMANDING laughing gas. I’m not the type to just demand someone to give me something. But I felt like I was having my uterus cut to shreds.

The laughing gas was great! I was loving life. But once it started wearing off, I was back to squirming and crying in pain. The nurse asks me again for the 4th time if I want the epidural. And i had to make the decision QUICK. I was already 8cm and if I kept waiting i wouldn’t be able to get anything.

I made the decision and got it. I was SO HAPPY after that. I was relieved. They broke my water and I laid there for about an hour or so. Then told my boyfriend “I have to push.” So the nurse comes in, and they tell me I’m fully dilated and if I wanted to try pushing I could.

I didn’t know when I had to push, so I just pushed. I pushed for 25 minutes and I remember feeling his head as he was crowning. It was the most surreal moment I’ve ever had. He was 8lbs 9oz and 21 inches long!

I tore in 3 places: my uretha, clitoris, and the actual hole.

They then massaged my belly and I delivered the placenta. I could remember saying “All of THAT was inside of me?” I couldn’t believe I carried around an 8lb baby AND a placenta for so long. But I wouldn’t change my labor for anything.