Ok this will probably be a bit long so I apologize.

I am pregnant with baby #3. With my first I decided to formula feed because I was to uncomfortable to even try and breast feed. I know it sounds stupid and is no way the same thing but I had a long history of sexual abuse growing up and just the thought of someone else using my body for something made me anxious. I know it's not at all the same and it's just my baby eating but I just wasnt ready to try that. I had the full support of my husband.

With baby #2 I was talking about breastfeeding but decided on formula again for convenience and my husband would be deploying when baby was 3 months old and I just wanted to try and keep life as simple as i can. I was already going to be dealing with a lot of change living in a different country with no family, raising a toddler and baby.

Now with baby #3 I'm so confused on what I want to do. I'm trying to prepare myself because finances are really tight and I want to try and stock up on supplies while I can. But with this baby I am also working. I'm going to be able to take a couple weeks of maternity leave but not much. I know how expensive formula is and we had help with WIC before but with me working too I'm not sure if we would qualify. The idea of trying to learn how to breastfeed gives me some anxiety because it's something new and also trying to balance doing that and work. I work at a casino and I only ever get a real brake maybe once a month if that. I know they have to give me time to pump if I need to but I also dont like the idea of needing to step away and pump because I normally dont have someone around to help me out if I ever have to step away.

At the end of the day I know what I'm doing with formula feeding and husband does too. But the problem is that its expensive and I'm afraid the cost might get out of control.

With breastfeeding it's less of a cost problem but can make things a little complicated with work and husband cant help as much. I work evenings too and sometimes till 3am or later and he will definitely need to be able to pitch in if needed. He is supportive of what I want to do but I just would like some insights from you guys on what you have gone through and maybe some tips and help.