We Lost Our Baby 😭 my story.

Received the phone call I have been dreading since Thursday of last week. Here is my story.

I apologize for the length of this post.

I found out I was pregnant two weeks ago, and would have been 5 weeks this Friday. I was so excited, I get to tell my husband for Fathers Day! I hadn’t started my period yet but had 1 day until I was supposed to start, but I knew, it wasn’t coming.

Day I was supposed to start, I go to make the call to my Ob and bam, everything changed. Mid telling them I was pregnant and needed to schedule a prenatal exam, I had a gush of blood. I told the receptionists to please have the nurse call me because after 4 positive pregnancy tests, I am now bleeding. They said okay, and the nurse called me 20 minutes later. I explained to her what was going on and she told me

to get to the hospital as quickly as possible for a beta HcG. I left work, and got to the hospital for my blood test, by this time, the bleeding had stopped (yay!) I thought maybe I was just having some pregnancy bleeding, and maybe just maybe this would be normal and okay. 3 hours later the doctors office calls me back and tells my HCG was so low to be almost 4 weeks at the time at 8.6, but fingers crossed I am earlier than we thought and this bleeding may have just been a one time thing. They scheduled me for another blood test 1 week following. I went home, things were normal, no bleeding, just spotting at this point, so I helped my husband mow the yard, and then took it easy for the rest of the night.

2 A.M. Friday morning I had the worst back pain and then all of a sudden bad cramps, back pain, nausea, headache...so I sat up, another big gush of blood, I knew this wasn’t good.

I waited until 8:30 Friday morning and called my doctors office first thing. The doctor told me we need to move my blood test up to today (6/17) and see if my levels are back to negative or if I possibly need an exam. I spent the reminder of my day Friday crying, just praying that God would not take this baby from me, but I also prayed that if it was his will, to please give me peace.

Over the weekend, I felt this calmness come over me. I wasn’t worried, I knew this was God’s plan, no matter which way it went.

Fast forward to today, I go to the hospital and get more blood work performed, and I just prayed that whatever these results were that God would just comfort me. That he would just let me be okay, because after all I do have two other children and a husband to be strong for.

Unfortunately, I received the dreaded call. I miscarried...we lost our baby. We will never know the why, the gender, who he or she might be, what baby would look like, we would never know our 3rd child. That hits hard...so hard. I found myself selfishly questioning it. Miscarriage? I have two healthy children, how can I have a miscarriage? No way. (That’s what I thought). Truth is, it can happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime. This was not my plan, but God had a reason. He knows why. He knows who he or she is. He knows what he or she looks like. He knows.

I am letting my faith be what gets me through this...because without that, I truly don’t know what I would be at this point.

I hope my husband and I will be strong enough to not give up, and try again when we can...but at this point, I am just going to appreciate the two children I have now, and let everything else work itself out.

My heart truly goes out to anyone dealing with this / anyone who has delt with it. It is not easy, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It doesn’t matter how far along you are, early or late...it hurts. Deeper than I ever could have imagined.

Keep my family in your thoughts...or if you are the praying kind, please keep us in your prayers. We need them right now.

Thanks for reading my story. I hope next time, I can celebrate with an announcement for our rainbow baby.

RIP Baby B #3. 👼🏼♥️