Moms of Black/Mixed Kids: Hair Help!

My oldest son, Jeremiah, does NOT let me comb out/pick out his hair on a daily basis, but my husband refuses to cut our son’s hair because Jeremiah likes having hair. 🧑🏽 He’s mixed black/white/puerto rican.

We’ve tried combing it out in the tub, we use deep conditioners and leave in conditioner and then doing it wet, and it’s apparently the “most painful” process on earth, according to Jeremiah. I have all the “right” products and tools (I think!!!!) and I try to be gentle.

I don’t know what else to try. I don’t want him to go out looking like we don’t love him 🤦🏻‍♀️ especially because I style my two year old’s hair daily (Isaiah LOVES when I put product in his hair, he loves ponytails and even brings me the de-tangler just so I can spray it on his head). Hubby always had a clean cut fade until he started his dreads, so he says he’s incapable of helping 😤🙄

Any suggestions?!

Picture is for hair reference, but also to show off my gorgeous boys (and baby girl, who has NO HAIR AT ALL)! 😂 I hope this is the right group!

Update:

We sat down and tried again this morning! We wet his hair, used a heavy amount of spray detangler and then some leave-in conditioner (I can’t remember the brand, I’m not home), and he watched tv while I portioned out sections of his hair and combed from end to root with our wide toothed comb. I tried my best to be gentle without sacrificing effort, and this was our result! It’s much more even, fluffier (in a good way), and the shape is more uniform.

Thank you all for the advice!!! We’ll definitely be implementing more tips as I continue learning about his hair.