How do I move on,.

I’ll try to keep this as short as possible.

I was in a relationship last year and the plan was to get married. Everything was fine even though his sister didn’t approve of me and personally came down to my workplace to make that clear.

Anyways we ended up breaking up because his baby mum came back in the picture and only allowed him to see his kids them 2 alone. At that exact time he started making excuses that he wasn’t financially ready and I gave him 100 ways of how we would be fine as I worked and he earns $2000 fucking dollars per week.

He assured me throughout the whole relationship that not his baby mum, family or financial stability would be an issue but turns out all 3 were.

Anyways I wasn’t going to beg him to stay when I’m giving him solutions and his giving me excuses..

Months later down the track his brother adds me on Facebook now perhaps it was petty of me to talk to him but I guess I just wanted to see what I could get out of him as I had a feeling he was with his ex again.

Turns out that literally the same time we broke up he GOT MARRIED and not even to his ex but to someone else?

Now after hearing this information months ago it killed me to pieces. One thing his sister said was that she always makes fun of me to him and he still wanted me now I was very confident with my appearance but being on the heavy side it hurt.

So for this whole year practically I lost all my confidence. I gained 20 kilos on top of how fat I was before and I just assumed that he had gotten married to a ‘prettier’ or ‘slimmer’ girl. I stoped seeing men myself as I just don’t have the guts to meet a guy at the weight I currently am.

Now yesterday his sis comes to my work with a girl & she was shocked to see me as it was my break time. I try eavesdropping on the 2 and I’m certain it’s his wife but only 98% sure. The way this girl spoke about her partner not wanting too loose weight even though she was a big girl ( he did the same to me didn’t want me to loose weight ) and then I heard her tell the sis that she spoke with .... his name.

Now in my religion you’re not allowed to speak to opposite sex unless it’s ur family but my ex was super strict with this and only spoke to his sister and mum not even sister in laws and I knew she wasn’t married to his brothers or a cousin so I’m certain it is

But now this kills me because hold on I’m not a bully or I’m not one for putting women down but this girl was a big girl also like me ? So if she is his wife why is she any better than me ? Why is his sister so happy to be around her ? What was soo wrong about me at I not religious enough then I look at her and feel what if they forced him with her then I started to miss him and what the fuck I had gotten over him so I thought ?

Then there’s that other side in my brain saying what if she’s not his wife and ur hearing shit and he did marry someone better

I’m sorry girls I need to rant I’m so upset I haven’t stopped crying ever since I stop and then cry again I’m so upset I feel soo worth less I hate that we ended such a serious relationship and I didn’t get the closure I needed . I have to sit around every single tucking day and just wonder like whatbhappened ? Why did he really break up with me ? Who is he married to ? Is he happy ? I’m so upset 😭😭😭 having severe depression and anxiety doesn’t help me