Am I wrong?

Question

So my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We’ve talked about marriage & kids & how we’re each other’s “forevers” - however... I’ve been getting into more arguments with him lately & idk if I’m wrong for being so snappy/irritated toward him or not. He can be somewhat immature and stubborn. Like say at night, if he falls asleep, there’s no waking him up. But we agreed I would walk the dog in the mornings and he at night... so I nag him and if he’s laying down, wake him up to do that (and he ends up mad cause I woke him up) and tells me I need to lay off... except I can’t cause I know if he goes to sleep I’m gonna be stuck waking the dog. Or say when we go out with friends I agree I’m gonna drink and he’s gonna drive. Well, he ends up drinking too much (I notice ahead of time and try to tell him to stop but he tells me he’s fine 🙄 ) so I have to end up being the sober one and I end up driving. There’s more stuff but these are the only examples that came to mind. 
Am I wrong to get mad over these things? He keeps saying I should let him be and doesn’t see why I can’t just take care of him sometimes, but I don’t wanna make it a habit. I feel like if I keep allowing these things to happen I’ll only end up miserable in the long run.

Answer

You guys have compromised on your responsibilities and he’s not following through.  It seems like he’s decided if he doesn’t follow through, you should be the one to pick up the slack, that’s not ok.  Fights over chores is one of the top causes listed for divorce, maybe some couples counselling would be helpful to sort this out without resentment building up on wither end (it’s helpful for any relationship imo anyway).

Answer

Wow.  I don’t have to be a psychic to see how this will play out. 
Imagine if you have kids with this guy. He’s already not holding up his end of the bargain when it comes to responsibilities! Then add a baby into the mix. Babies require loads of attention and add to the responsibility load A ToN. 
If things continue as they are now, I foresee you being one of the women on this app who are ranting about how they have to do it all because their SO is absolutely no help. 
He’s already clearly said that he doesn’t understand why you can’t take care of him. So that’s his expectation and that’s what he wants. 
I’d have a frank discussion with him. Let him know your expectations. You want a partner, not someone you have to babysit. Let him know you’re not down with having kids with someone who already can’t show they’re responsible enough to take care of themselves. 
And please don’t make the mistake of thinking that having a child will automatically change a man for the better.

Answer

My EX was like that....hence the word """"EX""".

Answer

I understand why you are upset. I've had my fair share of immaturity from my husband. I would try to sit down with him, maybe over lunch or dinner, and communicate how you feel to him. I'm a firm believer that communication is key in any relationship. I will say good luck and that I hope you two work something out. ❤

Answer

You guys need to sit down and discuss these issues. Also why don’t you just walk the dog at night and he walks it in the morning if it’s a constant issue?

Answer

You’re the grown up in the relationship and he’s a child. You’d do better finding a man to have a relationship with. He told you to leave him alone and I think you should do just that....literally.....LEAVE his azz..alone.

Answer

This could be a maturity thing, but also could be deal breakers 
Think of it this way, he can’t care for the dog, will he all of a sudden change his ways down the line when it a baby? 
We take turns who drinks and whose the DD. If he’s not following that, that’s not fair. Is Uber available in your area?

Answer

Your frustration is completely understandable. I agree with E, the problem is you have both agreed to a division of responsibility and he is not keeping up his end. But it is more than that, he is getting mad at you for trying to enforce the agreement and he feels put down on and attacked. While you feel frustration, anger and resentment, because you are forced to 1. Do more than your share 2. Remind him to do things like a parent 3. Pick up the slack 4. Feel like whats the point in even having an agreement if he keeps breaking it. 
The problem is he acts this way precisely because he knows you will be their to pick up the slack. And you are quite correct in stating that you shouldn't let the behavior slide, because it will create problems in the future. 
So here is what you do. You sit down and have an honest conversation about the roles and responsibilities in your relationship. How you will keep track of them and what happens when one of you is not fufilling their end. So for instance, if he is too tired to walk the dog at night, than switch he can do the morning shift and you can do evening. If he is the designed driver and drinks too much let him, catch an uber home which he can pay for. He can also pay for the uber to go pick up his car again. Don't go drive him. He needs to learn the consquences to his actions. Tell him you are not his maid or his mother. You are not here to nag him into doing things he has already agreed to do. He doesn't get to treat you like shit or tell you to let things go. When he says that next you need to tell him, the funny thing about letting things go is that when you let responsibilities go someone else has to do them, they don't just magically disappear. So you letting things go is great for you, because I pick it up. But you know what I am not doing that anymore. 
If he still doesn't get the hint show him what lettinv go really looks like and don't do any of your house responsibilities for a week, let him do it. 
If that doesn't work try couples counselling.
If that doesn't work tell him that he is right and that you need to let go, you are letting go of him and will be trading up to a man who actually knows how to be a responsible emotionally mature adult instead of a man child. 
Best of luck hun xoxo

Answer

I understand being annoyed about those things but they aren’t really something I would get mad over.

Answer

People grow up but not always together or at the same time. My ex was like that..

Am I wrong?

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