I’m confused and sad

We spend a week together that was as wonderful and exhilarating as it was surprising and you expressed serious feelings for me I never expected after all these years of being not even really friends. When I left I was sad and I missed you

You felt the same

We talked all day every day and then this weekend some competition is going on and your considering coming to see me instead. I’m so touched and excited I stay up all night cleaning my room. In the morning after a night with the out of town boys who came for the comp, your check isn’t big enough even tho I offered to pay gas round trip Which is hardly 100$- and you didn’t need money while you’re hear, so why get me excited if you’ll just let someone talk you out of it in a beer filled evening ? Then you all go to the bars and you get wasted and probably spend more that night than you’d have Alene the whole trip and back if you’d come to see me like you said you wanted

Not only were you waaaasted you said you were dumb and refused to elaborate on what you meant by that when though I told you whatever it meant or was I’d be here for you even if it hurt my feelings - and I mean that

We talked on the phone none since then you told me to all down and that you had to go. The next day you texted me I’m sorry I’m not talkative or I’m sorry I’m so busy and haven’t had time to talk and I said it’s okay and tried to hold my tongue and take it at face value so today I don’t text you at all until 345 pm. I mention how I feel I’m being ghosted and it hurts alot hurts more than a conversation about you not feeling me anymore would.

I know we talked about how you’re bad at expressing yourself and I get that. But you didn’t even read all of my heartfelt messages and photos of us together saying I’d be your friend and lien you no matter what happened happens or may happen later, so call me when you want and I’ll stop bothering you

I believed it when you said you loved me

I meant it when I said I loved you

Still waiting on a reply from the one who was nervous to ask if they could calm me all day long because they like talking to someone all the time when you like them.

Wonder who is more intriguing than I was not even a week ago or what is so scary you can’t even check my texts for hours. You know I have abandonment issues and I feel like you’re abandoning me. Why?