I’ve learned to be okay with my boyfriend masturbating to Instagram models

Okay let me start off the beginning of my insecurity.

Before I started dating my boyfriend, I got cheated on by my ex twice and got terribly insecure from that... like super insecure.

By the way, I never had a problem with my ex masturbating to porn or anything.

Coming into a new relationship, I knew I was going to feel more insecure than my last relationship due to the outcome of it.

He (current) first told me that he didn’t masturbate to other women because he loves me and doesn’t want to look at anyone else, but then a few months later he confessed to me. He said he does masturbate to other women like Emily ratajkowski or Scarlett Johansson.

For some reason, I got super insecure over it, I would beat myself up over it and sometimes skip meals to lose weight (I used to have an eating disorder a few years ago, and it comes up again sometimes).

My boyfriend knows about this, and he’s very understanding.

But

I know he’s just 18, and he’s a boy. Like most boys, they masturbate.

And I know that those photos and those people are just fantasies. I can’t let them get to me. He chose to be with me not them. And we have sex almost all the time.

Sometimes I do feel insecure about it, so I told him not to tell me when he looks at these other women.

I want to respect him, and he wants to respect me.

Let me know if any of you feel this way :))