Depression getting worse

Since I’ve discovered I’m pregnant my depression and anxiety has got so much worse, to the point where I think of getting an abortion. I’m still a teenager trying to continue my education and I’m definitely not emotionally not mentally strong enough to be a parent, I still feel like a kid myself but I have to have this child, so I want to be on antidepressants, but I feel like I’m gonna be judged for one because you’re supposed to be happy and excited about having a baby but I’m not excited about becoming a teen mom, the way I see it my life is OVER now. I’m never gonna get to go out and have fun again without dealing with a screaming baby. But it’s not my choice anymore. I feel like the doctor will try to suggest therapy or some teas or aroma therapy but those don’t help depression. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain therefore you need something to balance those chemicals (antidepressants ) but they never want to give medication to pregnant girls. I feel like once you’re pregnant they don’t care about you or your health anymore , only the child’s, you could be dying but as long as the baby is okay everything is fine, I just don’t know what to do or who to turn to, everyone I talk to says oh there’s younger moms than you that manage and you’ll be fine and yada yada but i don’t feel like I’ll be fine I feel like I’m gonna be a shitty mom because how am I supposed to care for another human being when I can’t even care for myself? I just feel trapped as fuck.