He dosent understand why I regret my birth

He just says "You have a healthy boy, what else matters?" What else matters is I didn't want to be induced but had to be for medical reasons. What else matters is I didnt want pitocin but the foley bulb induction failed. What else matters is I didn't want an epidural but he kept asking "when are you going to get an epidural", "you're getting an epidural right?" And then the nurse started asking. And then told the nurse I wanted an epidural and I didn't feel like I was doing good enough so I caved. What else is I didn't want internal monitoring but because of the pitocin and the epidural my baby's hb kept falling so low the external monitor didn't pick it up. What else is I didn't want a c section, but I had no choice as my bp was skyrocketing my temp was 103 and rising, and my sons hb got too low. What else is I wanted to hold my baby right after birth, but I was hemorrhaging on the table so they had to get the baby and my SO out immediently. Why do I not have the right to grieve the birth I wanted but couldn't have? What do I not have the right to cry a little over this? Is it not natural?