I have always had a problem comparing my self to other people. I have body dysmorphia and even though I’ve come so far I still struggle to stop myself from comparing me to others.

My sisters are gorgeous. My oldest sister is thin, she has a big butt, big doe blue eyes, long dark lashes, porcelain skin, full lips. Like she is so pretty. She’s fashionable and smart and funny. Literally guys hit on her 24/7 which I know is annoying but I still cant help but to want to be that pretty.

And my younger sister. Oh boy she is just as gorgeous. She has caramel skin, never breaks out, brown almond eyes with thick lashes, big lips, and she’s literally the definition of slim thicc. And she’s only in high school. Again guys always notice her. Even older men which I’m always protective of her and give them a dirty look cause she is still young. Again she’s smart, funny, super nice, and has a really good fashion sense.

I know I shouldn’t compare myself to them but I always do. Like I’m okay looking I guess, average at best. Ya my eye are blue but they aren’t super pretty, and my lips are average sized, I’m bigger and have a pretty big tummy (and it isn’t that big tummies aren’t beautiful, like I’ve seen a time of hot thicc girls with tummies I’m just not one of them). Butt is meh, I have big boobs so I guess I have that going for me, but they do sag because of their size. Honestly guys have never really liked me. I somehow got an amazing boyfriend and we’ve been together for 2 1/2 years. I still don’t know why he likes me. Like he is so attractive too. Surfer blonde hair, blue eyes, big lips, and EVEN HE HAS A BUBBLE BUTT. Like wtf. I literally always tell him I wish I had a butt like his.

Like there are so many attractive people in my life. My two best friends could literally be models. I’m not just saying that.

And like I wouldn’t change a thing about any of them but it’s just so hard. To be the “ugly one”. My whole life I’ve been that. All my friend groups since elementary school. And no I know I’m not “hideous”, I’m just not really attractive. I’m average at best. So it is just hard to be surrounded by pretty people all the time.

I’m seeing my therapist tomorrow so I know I need to talk to her about this. Idk. I guess I just wanted to let it all off of my chest.